For Saying Yes

When I created this blog, I planned to keep it pretty much secret from my friends. I let a few people who I trusted know about it and tried to keep it on the down low. I didn’t give anyone my url. I planned to advertise this as an advice blog somehow on the internet, so that I could attract an audience of people I don’t know to whom I could offer a lot of very personal advice in only the context that they needed to understand what I was doing.

But now I have come to question this - how can I expose these personal things about myself to people I’ve never met, but still keep them secret from those I count as my closest friends and family members? So here goes - I won’t keep it secret anymore, because I am trusting that anyone I know who sees this blog either doesn’t know me or will be respectful about the things I say here. I am fairly confident about this - I love my friends that much.

Anonymity can be very liberating sometimes, though. I find that when I don’t have to worry about someone’s reaction to something, or about changing friendships by things that I say, I am much more willing to be candid. But it has been a recent effort of mine to be more honest with everyone in all parts of my life. So, as I often say, here goes. Welcome, friends. Welcome strangers. I can’t give you advice unless you ask for it.So in the meantime I continue my self-indulgence.

One of my friends recently expressed some concern about his happiness. He told me - in some confidence, and thus I am trying to keep this general - that he was feeling very anxious and depressed lately, and found it hard to be happy.

I was very concerned to hear this - I think I’ve been told before that I over-empathize, but when one of my friends is in distress, I take it seriously, so this is what I’ve been thinking about lately. He told me that he needed “a coping mechanism.”

I wasn’t sure how to reply to this. I haven’t really seen him in a while - it’s been ages since we got a chance to hang out. So I started by asking him when he was happy.

This is really important, guys. Find something that makes you happy. Then make yourself do it. That sounds bad. I don’t mean FORCE yourself. I just mean, set aside some time every week to do something just for fun. And if you, like my friend, get anxious that you are not doing something productive during this time, do it for my sake. Do it for your friends who hope that you’re happy. Do it for yourself, for your sanity. Sometimes sleep is more important than homework. Sometimes fun is legitimately more important than work. Enjoying yourself is not something you should ever feel guilty about. Yes, it is important to do productive things. But happiness counts as productive too.

So find the thing that makes you happiest, the thing that makes you laugh most, and give yourself a time for it. Set limits on that time if you’re worried about other things you have to do, but whatever you do, don’t neglect it.

kokytos:

bangst:

This should be reblogged by everyone. Even if you’re straight, you should be a supporter.

 This should have more notes..

Mostly I’m amused that you’re awake and I’m about to go to sleep. Maybe. After Greek.

WAIT HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL~~

See I know what’s up

Don’t worry, it will go viral soon enough - this kind of thing always does. Notes will abound. People will say WHY DO THE PEOPLE I FOLLOW THINK OF NOTHING ELSE?!?! It will be glorious.

You guys - whoever you are - I am a bad person. I can’t make myself do anything in the short term. In the long term, I’ve signed up for the most classes that I can do without anyone giving me long lectures on what it means to be a freshman. I am going to sign up for a number of extracurriculars and have already signed up for one that will take up my Friday afternoons and Saturdays for at least the first ~1/3 of the year. But I can’t make myself write on my tumblr, my project to better myself and try to help whoever finds it. But who am I kidding? My self-discipline is lacking, my speech is not altogether inspirational, and no one knows about it. I don’t want this to be a place where I talk to my friends. I don’t want to become a random tumblr. I wanted to be an advice blog.

Well, I’m going to give myself one more chance. Seeing as no one ever asks me any questions, I’ll draw from the lives of the people around me and stick to generalities until someone likes what I say enough to appeal to me personally.

In the meantime, here’s a little more of my soul. I identify as a lesbian, probably, but have been struggling with this lately. I am newly a freshman in college - which is a very strange experience for me. I have yet to come out to anyone in my new life, but I have a feeling that they know. My high school girlfriend and I agreed to break up for college, so although we still love each other, we are no longer together as of yesterday when she drove the eight hours to her new home for the next four years. We felt that going into college still attached would have been a mistake, since she is a plane ride away. I am still bitter about this, because we never really got a chance to be together for long. But I know it was the right decision to make and she and I are still going to communicate and be friends.

I am planning to major in an intense science field, but I am also very interested in writing, music, psychology, and women’s gender and sexuality studies. This is going to be a lot to balance in college, but I think I can do it, if I take 5 or 5.5 credits every term and keep up with enough extracurriculars to balance my interests.

Now that this self-centered post is finished, I shall apply my efforts to finding someone who needs advice or writing generic advice to whomever shall stumble upon it.